


Things we lost in the fire

by everythingisconnected



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (Flashbacks), Academy Era, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Conflict Resolution, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Self-Hatred, Telepathy, The Master Has Issues, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23762560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingisconnected/pseuds/everythingisconnected
Summary: The Doctor is on her way back to see her fam, but the TARDIS has other ideas, and takes her to a planet she hasn't been to for thousands of years where she is forced to confront her best enemy yet again. But maybe this time they can come to understand each other.
Relationships: The Doctor | Theta Sigma/The Master | Koschei (Doctor Who: Academy Era), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67





	Things we lost in the fire

**Author's Note:**

> so after 3 years my thoschei obsession has risen from the dead and made me write this, because all these two need to do is FUCKING COMMUNICATE THEIR FEELINGS like,,,pls,,,

The first thing on her mind when she was reunited with the TARDIS, was setting the coordinates for Sheffield. 

Her fam would undoubtedly be worried about her, and she missed them, and was already plotting where to take them on their next adventure.

Not that the TARDIS ever listened to her. She had a mind of her own.

The Doctor opened up her phone briefly. It’d been a while since she’d last checked it. Being in prison and all.

The fam group chat was going insane. She had multiple missed calls, messages from everyone worrying about where she was and if she was dead. The Doctor sighed, she had to go find them immediately, make sure they knew she was OK.

Of course, just as she was about to close WhatsApp, she caught sight of an old chat thread she hadn’t thought about in a while. It was titled ‘O’, with an alien and heart emoji beside it.

Why did she ever trust him?

They’d had such great conversations. She really should get round to deleting the conversation, but she always forgot, or blamed it on that. How embarrassing was it that she’d let herself get close to him, everything they did when they first met, how could she have made such a huge mistake?

O had seemed like such a nice and sweet guy. Something about him had reminded her of deep, buried feelings in her hearts. Well, she was a he back then. They’d hit it off immediately, back when the Doctor was in his 10th body and lonelier than ever, he’d gone with those feelings and they’d spent the night together.

Since then they’d sent each other vaguely flirty, banterous texts every so often. 

It’d been a highlight of a lot of her days.

Then came the dread when she realised who he was.

There was a time once, when she’d felt like that for him, but those times were far in the past. 

Then there was a time again, in her last body, when she’d thought she had him back. All he did was betray her, endlessly, over and over. She’d believed in him (her, as Missy), and look how that turned out.

Her thumb hovered over the thread. How much of O genuinely was the Master? She remembered a time when that was him, but once again, those days were gone. Once upon a time it would’ve given her hope that he could be like that again, but now she was just done. She’d lost him completely. But at least she had her fam, who were worried about her, that she needed to visit.

Time for a trip to Sheffield.

-

She was fairly sure, almost a hundred percent sure, that this wasn’t at all what Sheffield looked like.

First of all, Earth didn’t have two suns, and at least ten moons visible in the sky.

There was also the knee-length, purple grass.

The fact that the sky was gold might be another giveaway.

This definitely wasn’t Sheffield, and also not Earth.

Damn, this always happened, she shouldn’t be surprised by now. But as usual, there had to be a reason she’d been brought here. 

Luckily she had a time machine, so could still make sure she was back in time to see her friends.

Maybe it was nothing. Might as well have a look around and make sure though.

Over the hill in front of her seemed to be a collection of stone huts. Just as the Doctor was making her way over the hill, ready to introduce herself to the locals, maybe make a friend or two, she was hit by an intense, almost whack at her mind.

She groaned, grabbing her temples. Of course. The native species to this planet communicated using a psychic frequency that was dangerous to the one Time Lords used. She was pretty sure she’d been here before at some point, and that must’ve been the reason she’d never returned.

Maybe not deadly, but extremely painful. Well, maybe slightly deadly if you stayed here many years.

_OK, put up barriers. That helps the pain._

Running a hand through her hair, the Doctor reluctantly continued making her way towards the group of huts. The sooner she found out the reason she was here, the sooner she could get off this planet.

The big hut in the centre was probably the best place to try first.

She swore the pain hadn’t been this bad before. Even with her psychic barriers, the telepathic voices almost sounded as if they were screaming.

Whatever was wrong here, she’d find out, and help when needed.

Damn, the pain was getting even worse the closer she got to the hut in the centre. She briefly thought about turning back but no, these people could be in danger. She needed to help them.

The hut door was small, so she had to duck under it to get through. The inside of the hut however, was spacious and colourful, with a transparent ceiling displaying the picturesque sky dotted with moons.

All this noise, coming from every direction, and the place was empty. 

That was odd.

“Hello?” she called out, but internally facepalmed immediately afterwards. The people of this planet were deaf and communicated telepathically.

The place looked like a mess. The wall decorations were scattered on the floor, in tatters. Everything had been moved together in the middle, to form something that resembled the shape of a bed.

The Doctor inspected further, stopping when she almost tripped over something on the floor. There was definitely something wrong here, but the psychic screaming was too intense for her to be able to get any idea what it was.

“Well fancy seeing you here.”

Wait, that was a voice. Not telepathic, either.

An awfully familiar voice.

A figure emerged from a doorway at the other side of the room. One that was clad in that dramatic purple outfit, minus the coat.

“What?”

“Oh don’t act so surprised, you didn’t think I was actually dead, did you Doctor?” 

The Master strode into the room, a wide grin on his face. “And here I was thinking I’d found somewhere I could finally get rid of you.”

“But-” she was frowning, awestruck, but not in a good way. “How could you have possibly survived the death particle?”

The Master shook his head and smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would, actually,” the Doctor glared at him intensely. “I’d like to get back to my friends, and off this planet as soon as possible.”

The Master grinned again. “But it’s such a lovely place, isn’t it? So much better without the locals. I never liked them anyway.”

“But I can hear them,” then it hit her. “Wait, what have you done to them?”

This time his grin was even more sadistic than before. “Don’t worry about them. They’re too small of a problem.”

He brandished the TCE from his pocket. The Doctor rolled her eyes.

“Why did I ever expect anything better from you?” she snarled, rage building inside her. 

The Master chuckled. “Thought this lovely little psychic barrier would keep you away. I was wrong though. Didn’t know you loved the pain so much. Maybe you’re more like me than you thought.”

“I’m _nothing_ like you!” the Doctor snapped, stepping closer. “Wait. It’s painful for you too. So why are you doing it?”

The Master shook his head. “Wouldn’t it just _delight_ you if you knew! That’s why I’m not telling you, by the way.”

She sighed in frustration. “These people have done nothing to you. You’re always the same, you never stop _killing_. I’ve given up trying to make you see otherwise. I’m done here.”

The Time Lord opposite scoffed. “Yeah, you gave up alright. That’s why you _left_ me, for dead, in the middle of a forest. After everything. _You_ left _me_. Doctor.”

“After _you_ turned me away!” she yelled, letting the pain through for the first time. “I tried with you, I really did. For a moment, I thought we were gonna be friends again. Then here you are, new body, and right back to where you started.”

“I- what?” the Master frowned. “The last thing I remembered was you leaving me, so don’t try and turn this around.”

“Wait-” the gears began to whir in the Doctor’s head, everything making sense. “You- you don’t remember. You don’t remember anything, because the other you was there.”

“The other-” the Master was pacing stressfully. “Oh.”

“I didn’t leave you. I offered for you to join me, to finally become good, and you turned me away.”

The Master turned, facing away from her. 

“Even if you don’t remember that, you destroyed our planet, and all our people. You’re still a monster.”

He sighed heavily, then grinned to himself. “Who’s your real enemy here, Doctor? Who’s side are you on? Me, or the people who tortured and used you, experimented on you and reverted you to a child, erasing your whole life? And you’re _upset_ I destroyed them?”

He sneered. “They deserved it.”

The Doctor gaped. “I-”

“I’m lesser than you because of _them_ ,” he spun around, shooting daggers at her. “They took _everything_ from me!”

“But you killed _all_ of them! Every single one!” the Doctor yelled, almost a sob. “Who does that? To a whole planet?!”

“You.”

The Doctor froze.

“See, maybe you _are_ more like me than you thought,” the Master chuckled, licking his lips.

“I’m not-”

“You were though, weren’t you?” the Master interrupted her. “Don’t you know why I chose this planet?”

The Doctor racked her memory. Nothing. What was he talking about this time?

He chuckled hollowly. “Of course. It’s just one insignificant part of your long life, isn’t it?”

She sighed angrily. “What are you on about?”

“Come on. _Think_ ,” he said. 

It came back to her.

-

_Thousands of years earlier…_

“If you’d just let me do it-”

Koschei pushed Theta’s hand off the TARDIS controls.

“Kos, I know what I’m doing.”

“You obviously don’t. This _isn’t_ how you fly a TARDIS, idiot.”

“I’m a perfectly good pilot thank you very mu-”

There was a huge explosion from the console, sending them both flying backwards. The TARDIS lights flickered, finally dimming dangerously low. 

At least they’d stopped. Somewhere.

Koschei sighed from his position on the floor. “Tell me again how you’re a ‘perfectly good pilot’?”

“Shut up. It- it did that on its own, you know TARDISes.”

“Yeah, and I know you’re gonna fail your pilot exam,” Koschei stood up, dusting off his trousers. He reached out a hand to help Theta up, and he took it.

“You love me really,” Theta grinned, that evil, yet adorable grin that made his eyes shine, and also made Koschei unable to resist him.

Koschei rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately.”

Theta was giving him those wide puppy eyes again. Koschei sighed and gave into him, as he usually did, taking him by the chin and giving him a long kiss.

“Come on then,” Theta grinned, grabbing his hand. “Let’s see where we’ve landed.”

“We could be anywhere.”

“That’s the thrill.”

Theta had Koschei wrapped around his little finger and they both knew it. So he allowed himself to be dragged outside, and met by a large field of purple grass and a golden sky filled with moons.

“Look, it isn’t so bad!” Theta grinned, despite the dull ache in his head. A moment passed. Koschei was never this silent.

Theta turned round. His friend was in a heap on the floor, leaning back against their TARDIS which had taken the shape of a stone hut.

“Kos!” Theta crouched down, taking his face in his hands. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

“Can’t you feel it?” Koschei murmured, clutching his head in his hands. “We- we need to le-”

He let out a piercing scream, collapsing on his side. Theta was panicking a lot more now.

“Hey, hey, I’ll get you insid-”

He was interrupted by a low rumbling growl coming from behind him. The frequency was incredibly low and almost hurt his ears.

Theta turned to see what looked like a white animal, it had four legs, and a head, and a pair of eyes at least. 

“What are you?” he asked. No response. “What have you done to my friend?”

The creature growled again. Another scream from Koschei.

“You’re doing this!” Theta reached in his pocket for a gun, pointing it at the creature. “You’re hurting him!”

He glanced back to see Koschei writhing on the floor. That was all the motivation he needed to pull the trigger.

The creature fell to the ground, lifeless.

Sighing in relief, Theta put the gun away and returned to his friend on the floor. 

“Hey,” he whispered. “Koschei?”

The dark haired boy looked up from behind his hands.

“Let’s get you back inside,” Theta said, grabbing Koschei under his arms and carrying him through the TARDIS door. 

Koschei was covered in sweat, his hair plastered to his forehead. Theta brushed it back out of his eyes as he sat down beside him.

He placed a quick kiss on Koschei’s cheek, cupping his other cheek and turning him to face him.

“Hey,” Theta whispered, pressing their foreheads together. As soon as he opened his mind, he felt the pain his friend was in and recoiled instantly. 

“Woah, OK,” Theta gasped, clutching his temples. “Never going to that planet again.”

Koschei managed a chuckle. “That’s for sure.”

-

“We’ve been here before,” the Doctor said. “When we were kids.”

“Now you’re catching up,” the Master continued to pace. “We said we’d never go here again, yet here we are.”

“Thanks to you,” the Doctor ground out, crossing her arms. “Can you stop them screaming? At least have the decency to put them out of their misery.”

“Didn’t seem to stop you from shooting one,” the Master smirked, raising an eyebrow.

The Doctor groaned. “I was a different person back then.”

“Ugh, fine,” the Master pulled the TCE out of his pocket, did a few things with it, and the screaming stopped. “Would’ve been nice to go out to that.”

“Excuse me?” the Doctor frowned. “Say that again?”

“Oh, Doctor, making you happy, am I?” the Master whipped around to face her. “Doesn’t the thought of me going to a remote planet to slowly die just make you _ecstatic_?”

“Wait, you came here to _die_?”

The Master barked out a laugh. “Why else? Because I just love it here? No, I can’t stand it.”

“Then _why_ , do you of all people, want to kill yourself?”

“You really don’t know me as well as you think you do,” the Master sighed and turned away again. “I no longer have a purpose. The Time Lords have taken everything from me. They took my childhood, and the rest of my life, they sent me insane, I was their little _pet_. Don’t you see, Doctor? We’re the _same_. And even then, I’m still _born_ from you. Tell me, what reasons do you see for me to continue living like this? As a pathetic, insane little byproduct of the one person I thought was my equal?”

The Doctor was speechless, and that didn’t happen often.

“That shut you up, didn’t it?”

“They used both of us,” she exhaled, hand gripping her hair. “For their own gain. They’re the monsters.”

“Now you’re getting it,” the Master said. 

“But- I get it,” the Doctor was now pacing too. “It’s not you, it’s them. It’s always been them.”

“They did this to us.”

“Yeah, they did,” his voice was suddenly a lot softer.

“They took you from me!” the Doctor yelled. “They made you into this!”

“It’s all I’ve ever known.”

“I can’t ever get you back,” she collapsed back against the stone wall. “You’re too far gone.”

“I didn’t just do it for me,” the Master muttered, taking a seat on what looked like a sofa.

“What?”

“Destroy Gallifrey.”

“Then who-” the Doctor’s eyes widened. “Wait, you did it-”

“They _used_ you,” the Master seethed. “Just like they used me. They took away my equal and made her into _more_.”

The Doctor sighed. “How can I trust you? After all the times you’ve betrayed me?”

“Look at me,” the Master threw his arms into the air. “I came here to die. Surely this is the one time you can.”

“Missy, and O, is that still you? At all?”

The Master scoffed. “O was so much fun to play. So nostalgic.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Reminded me of us, before all this. Maybe for a moment I could pretend it was still real.”

The Doctor went silent for a moment again. “Is that what you want? For that- for that to be us again?”

No response.

“Koschei, _tell me_.”

He instantly turned back to her.

“Wow, been a long time since you’ve called me that,” he laughed, running a hand through his hair. 

“I- I slipped up,” the Doctor started pacing again. “Now for once in my life, I’m listening to you, so tell me the truth.”

“I meant everything,” the Master muttered. “As Missy. I do want to be your friend again. But you gave up on me, so here I am.”

“I never gave up on you, Master,” she found a large rock and sat down. “As I said, you may not remember, but you turned me away when I asked you to stand with me.”

“Now I think about it, it’s coming back to me,” the Master swivelled round to face her from the other side of the room. “I don’t remember much, most of it is just a blur. But I _was_ going to stand with you. Old me shot me first.”

“You better not be lying,” the Doctor leaned forward. “Tell me you’re not lying.”

“I’m not lying, _Theta_.”

The Doctor bit her lip. “That’s it. Come here.”

She strode forwards, crouching to his level and grabbing his temples. His mind opened instantly to her.

Memories. They were there, but extremely faded and fuzzy.

Intense waves of emotion, crashing into her head and almost choking her.

He had chosen to stand with her. But all he’d remembered before was her leaving him.

He was so lonely, hopeless and empty. It felt like a pair of twisted, charcoal black hands wrapping themselves around her neck and suffocating her, along with the weight of an entire building crushing her chest.

And she was feeling all of it.

When she pulled back, tears were streaming down her cheeks, almost out of control. She wiped them away out of embarrassment. Then she stared at him in shock.

“I’m-” she sniffed, brushing her hair from her eyes. “You’re telling the truth.”

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

“No wonder you’ve gone insane again,” the Doctor looked to the ground. “I remember that feeling, that was me, in my ninth body, after the Time War.”

“Do you see it now, Doctor?” he leaned closer to her. “I can’t live like this.”

“You were going to stand with me,” the Doctor looked back to him. “You really were.”

“It seems that way, yes.”

“You were never less than me, you know,” the Doctor added. “I said that out of anger, I truly believed I’d lost you.”

“But it’s a _fact_. I was made from you. I’m nothing.”

The Doctor scoffed. “You’re so far from nothing. You were my everything.”

He finally met her eyes. “I was just a small dot in your life. Just like all your human pets.”

“No, you really weren’t,” the Doctor sighed. “Whatever life I had before, I know nothing about. I was used, I was their slave. That wasn’t me. The man you knew, Theta Sigma, that _was_ me. And he loved you more than anything.”

The Master had been stunned into silence, which was a first for him.

“If you still have even an ounce of good left in you, Koschei, then you’re more than welcome to stand with me again.”

“What if I fail you again?” his voice was so weak and quiet.

“Hey,” she took his hands in his and pressed their foreheads together. “We really aren’t so different, are we?”

-

“Kos, slow down!”

Theta was struggling to catch up with his friend as he sprinted down the alleys through the citadel. Finally he’d turned a corner and found their usual spot behind a large, ominous building. They’d built a few makeshift chairs and cushions there.

He sat down on the giant cushion next to Koschei, who was panting heavily.

“For someone who loves running, you’re far too slow at it,” Koschei teased, elbowing Theta in the ribs. Theta elbowed him back, but they were practically cuddling, so it was all in good fun.

“Borusa definitely doesn’t know about this spot yet?” Theta asked, keeping a constant eye out.

“Nope. He definitely won’t find this place. He may have found the other two, but they were closer to the Academy. We’re much further away now.”

“This is worth skipping the TARDIS piloting class for,” Theta laughed. “It’s boring anyway. I already know how to fly a TARDIS.”

Koschei scoffed. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that Thete.”

“You’re such a dick sometimes,” Theta sighed. “Also, that girl was definitely flirting with you earlier. I might kill her.”

Koschei laughed. “I know she was. I wasn’t interested, you have nothing to worry about. That would be quite entertaining though, wouldn’t it?”

“What?”

“Watching you kill someone because you’re jealous.”

“If she keeps it up, I just might,” Theta took Koschei’s hand in his, twisting their fingers together. “We’ll be together, for the rest of our lives, won’t we?”

“Yeah, ‘course. Every star, remember?”

They held each other’s cheeks, touching their foreheads and letting their feelings for each other pour through.

-

“You have no idea,” the Master exhaled. “How long I’ve been waiting for you to say that.”

“I guess I never saw things from your perspective,” as the Doctor held his hands in hers, she felt like a kid again at the Academy. When they were young and hopelessly in love.

“Neither did I. I guess we’re both to blame.”

“We’re just a couple of idiots, aren’t we?” the Doctor leaned closer still.

“You could say that,” he was looking at her with wide eyes.

Finally she did it, she took him by the chin, and gently pulled him in for a soft, slow kiss. He instantly melted into it, gasping as she placed a finger to his temple, sending waves of soothing love through their connection. 

_You’re not alone, Koschei. You don’t have to be again._

This body wasn’t one for kissing or affection usually. But deep down, she was still that little kid with a soft spot for her best friend.

They kissed and kissed for what seemed like hours, exchanging waves of love, fingers and minds intertwined. 

She heard his whisper in her head.

_Two hearts, and both of them yours._

Now that sounded familiar.

They pulled apart, both smiling like idiots.

Then they were on their feet and the Doctor had pulled the Master into her arms and buried her face in his neck.

She felt him freeze up, then relax and gently hold her right back, head resting against hers.

This time it must’ve been hours. They’d both stood there, wrapped up in each others’ arms, sending waves of love back and forth.

Waves of regret for what they’d both done. Then maybe, a little forgiveness.

“I’ll come with you,” the Master finally spoke.

“What?”

“We’ll fill in the blanks,” he continued. “In the Matrix.”

She pulled back to meet his eyes. “You’ll help me? Figure out my life?”

“Of course, love,” he pressed their foreheads together again. “I have to start somewhere on this whole ‘being good’ thing, don’t I?”

She was smiling so much her cheeks hurt. “I’m glad to have my Koschei back. After all this time.”

“I’ll prove myself to you, I promise,” he kissed her temple. “Do I really have to meet your Earth friends though?”

She sighed. “Yes, you do. Maybe not at first. I’ll have to ease them into the idea of you tagging along.”

“I refuse to be your ‘companion’, Theta.”

The Doctor scoffed. “Oh, shut it. Your ego’s showing.”

The Master raised an eyebrow. “You should introduce me as your husband. Really throw them off.”

The Doctor buried her face in her hands. “That’s number one on the list of things I’m definitely _not_ doing.”

“Oh come on, it’d be a laugh,” he grinned. “Where’s your sense of humour gone? Remember when you told Borusa we got engaged and he started screaming and threatened to have us expelled?”

She laughed dryly. “How could I forget that? The look on his face was hilarious.”

“I’ve missed this,” the Master took her hands in his again. “Can we have this again?”

The Doctor sighed happily. “Yeah, I think we can.”

“Now let’s get off this planet.”

And for the first time in thousands of years, she took his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments always make me smile <3


End file.
